I Can't Say Anymore With The Writer Here

Hockey

2010-04-09T15:59:00.000-07:00

Hockey should just go away. Nobody cares about it. More people watch Nascar. Can the local Boston radio stations please stop talking about it every single time I'm in my car. That goes for you too, NESN. Yeah, I'm looking at you. Not only does Hockey suck, and not only is it NOT a sport, but...the BRUINS ARE AWFUL. Stop talking about them. They're never good. They have the worst owner in professional sports. Just stop. Please. The Celtics, Patriots and Red Sox are all title contenders, and I have to turn the radio on and hear about the goddamn Bruins!?

Okay, I'm done.

Why Springsteen Matters

2009-08-13T11:11:00.001-07:00

Being compared to Bob Dylan is an insult to Bruce Springsteen.

Bruce Springsteen is not my favorite artist ever. I don't think he's the most talented or influential artist in rock history. But if you get in my car at any random point in time, there's probably some Springsteen coming on the radio.

A lot of people, myself included, think of The Who as the perfect band of the adolescent teenage boy. I agree with this sentiment unconditionally. You should enter your "Who Phase" sometime after your "Zeppelin Phase" and right before your "Springsteen Phase." This is the way it happens for most suburban teenage boys who don't think they're 50 Cent. You usually hit your Zeppelin Phase between the ages of 14 - 16, your Who Phase between 16 - 18 and your Springsteen Phase 19+. Unless you smoke an abnormal amount of pot, then you can substitute your Zeppelin phase for the Grateful Dead or Pink Floyd. This is acceptable, but not recommended. If you discover any of these bands in another order you won't be able to properly appreciate them.

It breaks down like this: Zeppelin introduces you to the Blues, to Hard Rock and they do it in a way that is intellectually fun and curious. There isn't a lot to understand about Zeppelin. Discovering Zeppelin gets you ready to start listening to the Rolling Stones, who do what Zeppelin does, only better. Zeppelin ripped off and covered a bunch of old blues tunes but modernized them in a way that is enormously fun for a 16 year-old to jam to in his mother's basement. Stairway to Heaven is usually played at every early school dance that you will go to. And not only that, but it sounds completely different from all the Boyz 2 Men shit that they played at the dance before Jimmy Page started slaying his 12-string electric axe. Even after you turn 19 and stop listening to Zeppelin you will actively support and hope for a reunion tour that never happens. Zeppelin is almost always the first non-contemporary band that will universally be adored by a large group of people in their early years.

Listening to Tommy, Quadrophenia and Who's Next when you're 16 or 17 years old will surely give your parents fits, and will turn you into an Angry Young Man in a way Billy Joel could only hope to inspire.

I have very specific memories regarding Quadrophenia and Tommy in a way that I might not ever have with any other albums. But this is not to suggest they're better than those other albums. Because, well, they're not. This is because I haven't heard Quadrophenia start to finish since I was 18 years old. There are two reasons for this. The first is: I can't listen to either one without listening to the whole thing. Tommy and Quadrophenia are like Dark Side of the Moon or Kid A, you can't listen to specific tracks. Except for maybe "Love Reign O'er Me", but that's the last track anyway. Same with Pinball Wizard, but sometimes I think that song was on The Who Sell Out. And ultimately those two albums are about teenage boys. Tommy is about the deaf, dumb and blind kid who goes to summer camp and is molested by his uncle Ernie and can play the fucking pinball machine like Beethoven on a keyboard. Tommy might even be younger than that, but he feels like a teenager. He's dealing with weird teenage shit. So, you should always listen to Tommy before Quadrophenia. Tommy is the first Who album you should listen to after your Zeppelin phase ends. Quadrophenia is about a kid with multiple personalities. When you're 17 years old, you usually have many personalities and you're, mostly passively, trying to pick one. If you don't believe me on this one, just ask Eddie Vedder; he'll back me up.

Which brings us to The Boss.

If you live your life right, then you start listening to Bruce Springsteen when you become an adult. This is right around the time you go off to college. It should be your freshman year, but it can come your sophomore year too. Zeppelin and The Who are for adolescent boys, but Bruce Springsteen is for near-adult and adult men and women. Once you're done discovering yourself, Bruce shows you what else is out there. All the while telling you that it's okay to be nostalgic for the days before you met him.

You start chasing all those silly New York girls on the shores of Asbury Park and two albums later realize it's a town full of losers and you're pulling out of there to win. The only problem is, when you get out of town, you find the darkness on the edge of town and the badlands where it's not okay to be glad that you're alive. Then some of us get a union card and a wedding coat for our birthday, but others find out they still have a hungry heart, even if they don't have a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack. But your hungry heart can start to wonder why you sometimes feel like a dog that's been beat too much and you spend half your life just covering up. But then everything feels fine when the fat man takes the money from your hand and whispers 'good luck' and you ride down that tunnel of love.

Bruce became the biggest rock star in the world, got married to a model, and subsequently broke up with her. His breaking up isn't groundbreaking or any different from anyone else. But he went from relative obscurity to being on the covers of Newsweek and Time simultaneously, within a year. No one had EVER done that before that wasn't running a country. But the breakup clearly affected him more. He broke up his band and wrote an entire album (Tunnel of Love) about the experience. He didn't write an album about how horrible it was to be such a huge star. No one would have cared. Everyone knows someone who felt the way he felt after his divorce. And that's what made Tunnel of Love so great and, ultimately, underrated.

The most important use of this talent was after 9/11 when Bruce wrote The Rising. The Rising was the most important, and best, album of this decade. Some people refer to this as Bruce's comeback. But Bruce never had anything to come back from. He simply went away at the top of his game. The Ghost of Tom Joad and Lucky Town might not be his best-selling albums, but most other musicians would chop their right leg off to write like that.

But The Rising is the singularly most underrated album of this decade. Name one other band or artist that captured the feeling in this country post-9/11. You can't. This was the most important event in recent American history and not only did Springsteen come out with an album about it (a pretty brave move), but he captured the zeitgeist of 2001 like no one else could. Revenge, longing, coping, confusion and hope were the prominent feelings of the time and Springsteen took each and every one on and gave you a glimpse of your own feelings and the of people you'd never know. And, at the end of the day, isn't that what music, movies and art are supposed to do?

The individual songs really aren't important. What is important is Bruce took the biggest national tragedy since 1941 and understood it from every angle. He understood how I felt; he understood a widow's despair; and he understood what it's like to start over again. A topic that seemed too tragic for art to touch was humanized in a one hour musical and poetic tour de force. Who else would have been capable of this universal understanding of the human condition? Certainly not Dylan, Leonard Cohen or even John Lennon. Those virtuosos were too abstract. Bruce is as practical as they come. Sometimes great art is more simple than you think.

The Rising is the perfect Springsteen album because it illustrates how Bruce is able to break down the human experience into a way that seems normal to the assembly line worker that lives down the street or the poet next door. Bruce is the every man. The every man is a personality that he has cultivated over the years, but it isn't an act. He struggles with life and death, love and hate; and success and failure just like the rest of us. Nothing about Springsteen seems contrived, even when maybe it is. But that's not important, because it's easy to believe in Bruce.

A baby-boomer once told me that the reason they loved Bruce so much was because, "I feel like I grew up with him." This is probably true, but not because of their age. Listening to Born to Run feels as much like an adolescent summer night for me as it does for anyone thirty years older than me. Bruce is universal.

Bob Dylan could write songs like "Desolation Row" and impress my Sophomore year poetry teacher, but what is Dylan really saying in "Desolation Row?" The song is riddled with metaphor and unnamed people. It's a great song, but Dylan doesn't sing about me and the people I know. All Springsteen does is sing about me and the people I know. This is an important distinction, because, after all, music is nothing if not autobiographical. We relate to the characters from "Jungleland", "Further On", "The River", and "Brilliant Disguise", because, at the end of the day, they're about us.

Horrified

2009-07-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

I just ran across a blog that had these listed as the funniest movies ever. I nearly threw up in my mouth despite Lebowski at 2. I officially no longer follow this blog. And I really enjoyed The Hangover. But come on...better than Blazing Saddles? Let's be serious.

23. Dr. Strangelove
22. Office Space
21. The Jerk
20. Happy Gilmore
19. This is Spinal Tap
18. Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
17. Animal House
16. School of Rock
15. Annie Hall
14. Vacation
13. The Wedding Singer
12. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
11. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
10. Borat
09. South Park
08. Wet Hot American Summer
07. Airplane!
06. Fletch
05. Blazing Saddles
04. Caddyshack
03. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
02. The Big Lebowski
01. The Hangover

Oh, and before I forget. Fast Times at Ridgemont High sucks. Can we please stop pretending to like this movie just because Sean Penn played a role that Keanu Reeves perfected? Thanks. Oh, and School of Rock over Animal House? No wonder we can't pass a Global Warming bill in this country. Idiots.

Check it Out

2009-06-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

Tom Friedman had some eerily similar thoughts to my gas-tax comments. Good man!

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Expensive Gas.

2009-06-22T16:21:00.001-07:00

The gas tax urgently needs to be raised. Urgently!

Oil expenditures in this country account for 2/3 of our trade deficit. Seriously. It isn't those cheap sneakers you buy from Taiwan. It's the SUV that you drove to the mall in.

The United States currently sends $21.6 billion overseas a MONTH. We typically send this money to countries that despise us. Saudi Arabia, for instance, is the third largest oil importer to the US. For some reason, everyone forgets (conveniently?) that 15 of the 9/11 hijackers were born in Saudi Arabia. Not Iraq or Afghanistan. Osama Bin Laden was also born and grew up in Saudi Arabia.

Why would we want to continue sending countries like this billions of dollars a year? Shouldn't this money be spent at home? Aren't there institutions within our borders that could use this revenue (schools, transit systems, the Treasury)? I think so.

So how do you fix this? It's simple. Drive less. How do you get 300 million people to drive less? Make it expensive. When gas went up to $4 a gallon last summer, driving dropped. People rode bikes, walked, carpooled, and took advantage of public transportation. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? God forbid we get some exercise in this country!

The only problem with last summer's expensive gas was the fact that we sent it to other countries. The expensive gas was an OUTSTANDING thing.

It's true that poor people apply a larger percentage of their income on gas than higher income levels. But, as my friend Paul Kamp argues on his blog, you can make up for this in other tax areas, such as lowering the income tax. Raising the gas-tax would positively affect the environment, American and western security interests, not to mention, the economy.

The United States comprises 4% of the world's population. We consume 25% of the world's oil. This is unsustainable. It is impractical and dangerous to the security interests of our nation. And, yet, people continue to get upset and hostile when a raise in the gas-tax is proposed. Why not have perpetually expensive gas and apply the revenues at home? I'll tell you why: people are short-sighted and politicians are spineless. The only way higher gas taxes on a broad-scale are implemented is if a politician without an ego or ambition came around. Someone who actually cared about the greater good. Sounds crazy doesn't it. I know. I'm nuts. Maybe Michael Bloomberg? Maybe.

Raising the gas tax would also create an immediate and permanent market for smaller cars. In a time when we're beginning to restructure our giant and failed car companies, it would seem like a strategically obvious time to reform the way we drive. Might as well restart the car companies on the right track. They're going to get there one way or the other. And this way is much better than the alternative. OPEC will drive up prices. Demand will drive up prices. Don't act like you weren't warned.

What hurts society more: driving or cigarette smoking? We tax the ever-loving shit out of smokers, but we regard driving as a necessity. It isn't. Buy a bike. Buy a train pass. Car pool. Get a smaller car. With all of the money you'll save by not buying gas twice a week, you can easily afford these things. And what will they give us? They'll give us greater security, a more vibrant economy and healthier air. Who do smokers hurt? Mostly themselves. And I'm fine with that. These days, very few people come into regular contact with second-hand smoke. People can't smoke in restaurants, bars, the ballpark and just about every relevant public place. Who do drivers hurt? EVERYONE. Unless, of course, you're the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Hugo Chavez, or Vladimir Putin. Those guys LOVE drivers.

A strong gas tax that keeps a gallon of oil at at least $4.00 will strengthen the United States and weaken, even possibly destroy, overseas dictatorships.

Another Kobe Hater

2009-06-09T19:55:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to come out and say it. I hate Kobe Bryant.

Now, I'm sure people that know me aren't surprised by this. I'm sure that many people who don't know me aren't surprised by this. Yes, I am a Celtics fan; but the most troubling thing about my undying and unmatched hatred for "The Black Mamba" (his words, not mine) is that his semi-nightly donning of the purple and gold has little to do with why I hate Kobe Bryant.

For instance, I don't hate Pau Gasol. In fact, I enjoy watching Pau Gasol play the game of basketball more than almost any player in the NBA not named Steve Nash. I don't hate Derrick Fisher, and I never hated Shaquille O'Neal when he played in LA. I also think Lamar Odom is one of the most maddening wastes of talent in recent memory. He eats fucking gummy bears before games for godsakes. Lamar Odom even said that he would only play in a warm weather city. He's about to become a free agent! Nice leverage Lamar; you dope. According to almost any criteria I should loathe Lamar Odom. I don't; I hope the Celtics trade for Lamar Odom.

That said, if the Celtics somehow ended up with Kobe Bryant, I would probably become a really big Bruins fan that winter. And I'm the guy who doesn't think hockey is a sport.

So why do I feel this way about Kobe? I don't believe in Kobe. I don't know Kobe. Kobe Bryant reminds me of a petulant 9 year old. Kobe Bryant is Mozart on a basketball court. But this metaphor really only holds up because Mozart didn't have to pass, either. In 2003 and 2004 Kobe Bryant did everything that he could to drive Shaquille O'Neal off of his team. What sort of person actively tries to drive the best player on the planet off of his team? A supremely insecure and egomanical one.

Kobe changed his number from 8 to 24. Why did he do this? To remind us all that 8 multiplied by the number of championships he won is 24? As if we forgot. Throughout his rape trial, his constant failure to lead his teammates, and his consistently embarassing selfish play we still didn't forget. And when did Kobe make this decision? Shortly after Shaq won his title with the Heat. Suspicious.

Another curious move by The Great Kobe Bryant was his decision to get tatoos all up and down his arms randomly one summer and to shave his head. Word on the street was that Kobe was trying to increase his "street cred" by adorning his arms with menacing tattoos. Kobe Bryant's Dad played in the NBA! He was rich! He lived in Italy! He's fluent in Italian! Kobe has about as much street cred as my grandmother. On second thought, she probably has more since she's from Somerville.

Kobe's problem is that he's really, really, really good at basketball. He's so good that he is compared to Jordan, Bird, Russell, West, Magic and others of this ilk. On the floor this is a semi-valid comparison. The problem with his likability lies with Kobe the man. Off the court Jordan was the six-time champion with the billion dollar smile. He was Air Jordan. He was Hanes, you felt like you could have a beer with Mike (even though nothing could be further from the truth). Bird was the Hick from French Lick. Bird would steal your lunch money playing H-O-R-S-E. Bird WOULD probably have a beer with you. Russell was the best player ever. He stood for black rights in the '60s. He was an 11-time NBA Champion, a two-time NCAA Champion and a gold medalist. If Russell had been a politician, he would have been George Washington. The quiet, powerful leader. Magic was showtime. Magic was "Magic." And, Magic had that smile. You wanted to play basketball with Magic. It looked like fun. And Jerry West was "Mr. Clutch" and "The Logo."

What is Kobe? He isn't fun to play with. I wouldn't want to have a beer with him or even share a meal. Instead, he constantly gives me the sense that he's trying to project the way that I SHOULD feel about him onto me. This is always a good way to get someone to hate you.

Am I to believe that Kobe Bryant has street cred? That he's a good person who doesn't cheat on his wife? That's he's fun to play basketball with or hang out with? No. On all counts. And that's what is fundamentally wrong about the NBA. This man is the face of the league. He's inherently unlikable. Kobe is A-Rod without the steroids. Only we wish someone would find HGH in his locker. It would validate our disdain for his selfish, grandstanding narcissism. If Kobe Bryant were a politician he'd be Bill Clinton without the disarming personality. Robotically efficient in his job, but robotically inefficient in anything involving life.

If Kobe Bryant played for the Milwaukee Bucks I'd still despise him. And this is healthy. I hope.

The Red Sox Are Not Good

2009-04-13T19:45:00.001-07:00

The Red Sox are not very good this year.

I hate to say this, but someone needs to. This is what $123 million buys? I want a refund. Try this little fact on for size: JD Drew is the Red Sox highest paid player. (75 million over 5 years) I just cut him from my fantasy team. My fantasy team is 0-1 with -7 points this week. JD Drew was deemed expendable. This is a problem.

Who decided Mark Texeira wasn't worth the money? I want Dan Duquette back.

The Red Sox have exactly three guys who I have any confidence will get on base: Jason Bay, Pedroia and Youkilis, that's it. Mike Lowell (no hips), Ortiz (Are we sure he's still alive?), Jason Varitek (An actually decent start, but that's not going to last; and he's still only batting .263), Jed Lowrie (his name is Jed; we should trade him to Texas while we still can), and Jacoby Elsbury (I think it's cool he's an Indian too, but can we all agree he sucks? He's had two years now).

David Ortiz is the number three batter in this lineup. I haven't had confidence he'd get a hit since I was a Junior in college.

At least we still have Heidi Watney in our lives.

The supposed bright spot was supposed to be the pitching. I'm watching Jon Lester get pounded by the A's right now, and he didn't do anything against the DEVIL Rays to make me feel any better about him. The A's aren't good, in case you were wondering.

Josh Beckett has had exactly one good season since he arrived. This is his fourth year with the Sox. This is our ace? Our opening day starter? What in the name of Pedro Martinez is going on here? I'm sorry, but despite his Eddie Vedder-like good looks, the pink hat crowd is going to have to realize the guy is a poor man's Curt Schilling.

Does anyone have confidence in Dice-K? I don't. This is year three, and time is running out for him to justify that 85 million dollars.

Tim Wakefield is completely washed up. I watched him walk 2 guys and hit a batter opening night and wouldn't have been surprised if he gave up 15 runs. I was happy with six. Really, I was ecstatic he held the Angels to six runs.

Brad Penny has four chins. 'Nuff said.

It's early, but even if the pitching turns itself around, I don't see how that lineup can win 90 games. Maybe in 2005 they would have turned some heads, but unfortuantely for them I can legally drink now.

Theo better go find his gorilla suit. He might need it soon.

One More Bailout

2009-04-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

There’s a big debate brewing these days. It’s whether or not we should (or could) save the newspaper industry by granting them non-profit status. I don’t see how this could be anything but good. Newspapers are the last bastion of integrity in the news world. There are a few digital and televised outlets that offer fair and reasonable methods to stay informed, but only a few. Most of these outlets rely on reporters from major newspapers to do a lot of the leg-work.

If newspapers fail there will be a giant gap in reporting that has become almost as important to democracy as any branch of government. Unlike congress, newspaper people actually get things done. They provide a service.

Up until the arrival of Craig’s List, newspapers were able to turn a reasonable profit on their efforts. Nobody pays for a personal ad anymore. The fate of the actually balanced and honest news outlets available to the consumer could be gone within five to ten years. People should be upset about this! And, as usual, if the American public should be upset about something, they’re probably distracted by American Idol. My beloved Boston Globe was named by one news outlet as the fifth most likely national newspaper to go out of business this year.

Here are my top reasons why newspapers should survive. But, just to show that I don’t care about progress, I’ve included my favorite things about blogs as well. So have at it! It’s long.

Newspapers:

Journalistic integrity: Reporters have editors. They have sources. Usually these sources are checked. If they get caught lying or plagiarizing they are held accountable. Hello, Ron Borges! Bloggers, however, are occasionally held accountable, but they will not be exposed in the same way a New York Times correspondent in Iraq will be or a football and boxing reporter at the Globe. After they screw-up once they are forced to go work at the Herald. I mean, I have more journalistic integrity than that tabloid.

There’s a level of scrutiny involved in newspapers that can’t be recreated in the blogosphere. People can write half-cocked ideas with very little substance and not have to answer for it. (See!) The “It’s just my opinion” defense does hold water or, at least, enough of it. This is especially true if there are a bunch of like-minded individuals who read you. You’re making money off your bullshit, so it doesn’t really matter what you say, as long as the masses stay entertained. Newspapers don’t concern themselves with entertainment, and they’re being punished for it. Entertainment as news is what is destroying our country through FoxNews and MSNBC. And they’re evil.

Opening a newspaper: The experience of reading the newspaper as opposed to reading on your laptop cannot be duplicated. And until it can, online reading will not prosper. I can’t understand how people don’t have issue with this. If I can spend 25 cents a day to have my newspaper delivered to me or read it for free on a screen, I’m spending the 25 cents. And I’m 23, so I’m not sure this is as big of a generational thing as many have made it out to be. It just makes sense.

Even if you don’t read the newspaper every day, many people my age read magazines. Lots of my friends get Sports Illustrated delivered to their homes. Why? Because it’s a million times better than reading it online, which they can easily do if they want to. Finding content online is extremely difficult.

Many times, something I want to read online is buried in the web site inconveniently. If I want to stumble upon a good article in the physical version of Sports Illustrated all I have to do is flip a few pages. When I find something good to read online I will read the article and then move to a different web site. This is just the nature of the internet. It encourages schizophrenia. If I finish an article in Sports Illustrated, Rolling Stone or Newsweek, I simply move on to the next thing in that issue that catches my eye. It’s less work.

Versatility: I’ll read things in the physical newspaper that I simply won’t care about online. Reading in the bathroom is a very important part of many people’s (usually men’s) days. Taking your laptop into the bathroom is a sometimes dangerous, and always inconvenient, way to read the paper. Too many things can go wrong. Until they come out with an affordable, water-proof laptop, mine will not enter the bathroom. I read a piece in the Globe today about the coach of Villanova, Jay Wright. If I saw this article online I would absolutely have skipped over it. Handling the newspaper every morning while I drink coffee is as much an experience as actually reading it.

Blogs:

Immediacy: Spur of the moment. Instant commentary and news. However, we can enter dangerous territory here. What deserves instant commentary? Usually all of the facts on a story haven’t been sorted through and analyzed for a few hours or days and sometimes weeks. What is your commentary? Are you an expert? If not, are you clearly stating that and not misleading your audience? If you’re an expert, what makes you one? Have others deemed you an “expert?” This is a fine-line.

People that work for ESPN are referred to as sports-experts. But many of my friends might consider me a sports “expert.” Employees of ESPN cover sports every day. But I read about and watch sports every day. It’s a part of my DNA at this point. However, many of these “experts” are, often, totally wrong and off-base.

But am I a sports expert? I could be, but it’s very difficult to prove. I briefly worked in the industry. But what if I consume an irregular amount of sports information on a daily basis? What if I played a sport my whole life for many different coaches? What if I am more qualified to coach a high school basketball team than my own high school basketball coach? Am I an expert on basketball? I don’t see why not. It’s a very gray area. Sports experts often bat a lower percentage than weathermen. Their credibility is definitely in question. Take Matt Millen. He was the General Manager of the Detroit Lions who went 0-16 this past season. NBC hired him as an expert football commentator! How, as a consumer, am I supposed to take this seriously?

Certainly it is not as easy to comment intelligently on the goings-on in the Celtics locker room for me as someone who is there everyday. It would be difficult for me to decipher if there are chemistry problems based on what I see on TV. However, it is not impossible for me to draw a conclusion of the Celtics’ chemistry based on what I see on TV. Most “experts” on ESPN aren’t in the locker room every day, and they seem to be able to draw these conclusions. So a person’s access to a locker room doesn't necessarily deem them worthy of “expert” status.

For instance, what if Bob Ryan and I coached two teams of exactly the same talent level? What if my team won by a large margin? Does this make me more capable of commenting on basketball? And even if I lost, but my team played admirably and competed, certainly I would be considered an expert still. I must still fall somewhere high on the basketball-expert-scale, because I am almost as basketball-savvy as Bob Ryan. Although, Mark Cuban sort of disagrees with me on this one.

There is, however, a level of background transparency that you can't receive from a blog. This is not the case in newspapers and major media outlets. They describe, in detail, why they consider a certain commentator or reporter an expert. This is important. I don't do this, and I don't care to.

But maybe no one should pre-suppose another individual is an expert until they have experienced a large body of their work and noticed what they say is on some level extremely relevant. I don't think Matt Millen is an NFL expert. He's clearly a better athlete than me. Big difference. I could work three hour days as an NFL GM and win one game.

Maybe the expert label is one that should never be used and is totally irrelevant, because after all, if you are an expert on something, shouldn’t it be obvious? Show, don’t tell.

Freedom: From a comedic and commentary standpoint there is more freedom. This is just another way of saying that bloggers can swear and make fart jokes. From a journalistic standpoint this doesn’t really add much. Although, from a “fun to read” standpoint, it sure as shit does.

Participation: The people always have a voice. People can comment on things bloggers write and participate individually if they decide their voice is not being properly heard through the mainstream media.

When the funding dries up for proper fact-checking and reporters are being pushed for more stories per week, because the newspaper they work for isn’t capable of hiring enough people to cover the work load, newspapers will lose their integrity and gravitas. This will lead to everyone getting their news from Bill O’Reilly and Chris Matthews screaming at each other through a video blog (VLOG!!) on the Huffington Post.

Deep Thoughts with John Regan

2009-03-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts:

Will John Calipari’s players be even more well-paid now that Kentucky has anted-up? I bet Marcus Camby is bummed out he didn’t come along 15 years later.

The Smashing Pumpkins are back together? The drummer quit? Sounds like a PR stunt to me.

If I hear the Main Street/Wall Street metaphor one more time I'm going to drive off a cliff.

Al Franken did enough drugs in the mid-to-late ‘70s to kill my whole family. Ladies and Gentlemen, your Junior Senator from Minnesota!

Populist Rage? What the hell are you people talking about? I haven’t seen one protest or riot yet. Watch some footage from 1968, now that’s populist rage. You're better than that. I'm looking at you, Jon Meacham.

If newspapers fail – God help us all. Too many people already get their news from the Keith Olbermann’s and Sean Hannity’s of the world.

Live from Saturday Night is just a series of interviews transcribed so that they work in a narrative. I wonder how that would work as a biography?

Any time a band has a hit song. They should immediately reissue it live and acoustic. It always sounds more profound. (This is not to say that it actually is)

I think I'm more skeptical of Jim Carrey as Curley than I am of Sean Penn as Larry in the upcoming Stooges movie.

It’s tough hating Jim Calhoun. I mean, he coached Dedham High. I've stayed strong so far, though.

Not sure what my favorite way to make fun of Rick Pitino is right now. I"m torn between: “Pervis Ellison is not walking through that door” or “I thought success was a choice, Rick? No?”

I will be rooting for the Michigan State Spartans and Tom Izzo to win the National Championship. If Rick Pitino is the constant self-promoter, Izzo is his polar opposite. I would want to play for Tom Izzo. Especially since he chose success this season. Pitino, what an ego-maniac.

Sorry everyone. I think I hate Bob Marley. In fact, I think I hate Reggae. I tried. Really, I did.

Mad Men could end up being better than the Sopranos.

It never ceases to amaze me how many drugs creative people took and continued to perform at a high (pardon the pun) level for an extended period of time. 90% of the Saturday Night Live cast from ‘75-’80 were coked up. John Belushi would set their homes on fire and they thought it was funny. Crazy.

I will be buying the new Neil Young album. I don’t care if he looks like the bride of Frankenstein at this point. His music is still good, seriously. I defy you to listen to Prarie Wind and not like it.

Opening Day is less than a week away. This season was already a success for me personally, though, the A-fraud, I mean A-roid, I mean A-Rod jokes would make it fun even if the Sox sucked.

If you ever break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, listen to Fleetwood Mac’s Rumour’s for one week, and you will be okay. Oh, and don’t forget to drink.

People who unconditionally stick to any sort of Dogma regardless of the facts are absurd. We get it; Reagan was a good president. In 1980! We needed to deregulate in 1980! Have a little nuance in your lives’ people.

If you have a basketball hoop in a cul-de-sac and the local bus driver hits it, it’s the bus driver’s fault. No?

If you’re between the ages of 16 and 19 and you don’t listen to Quadrophenia at least 50 times, you probably won’t gain the proper level of teenage-angst you deserve.

Elvis Costello is definitely my favorite Elvis.

With all of the artists doing drugs, you have to embrace the drunks. I feel like they’re the unappreciated minority of the abusive art world. Excluding, possibly, literature.

Companies should give employees two weeks notice that there will be lay-offs. How is that any different from someone quitting? And they should never, ever tell everyone things are okay, when they clearly aren't.

There's something strangely gratifying about being a cynic these days. I'm usually right. Even if I wish I wasn't.

AWAY MESSAGE RULES:

2009-03-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

People's away messages are becoming a bit overwhelming these days. It was recently made abundantly clear to me that people share wayyy too much information about themselves in their away messages. Their plans for the day, who they "love", what they'll be having for dinner, and the problem is simple: none of us care. You're away, unavailable to talk. This is all the information we need. If we needed more, we'd either know, or we'd call you. So please stop. In the meantime, with a little help from my friends, I've comprised some easy to follow rules for your away message.

1. Your plan for the day: We don't care. NO ONE cares. My best friends not only don't care what time I'm going to the gym today, but if they did care they would cease to be my best friends. Why would mere acquaintances care if you want to be at the gym by 3? Are you trying to tell us you're going to lose that jelly-roll by day's end? We all know you aren't, and even if you do, we probably wouldn't like you more for it. This also counts for people who tell us when and where all of your classes are. If we aren't in your classes (and I mean all of them), then we don't care.

2. Who you're in love with this week: Again, we don't care. I hope you're noticing a pattern here. Usually these people are the kinds of people who find love two or three times a month. Anyone who is legitimately in love would not feel the need to spray it all over instant messenger. Why? Because everyone would already know. It would be obvious. Why is this obvious? Because you're in LOVE.

3. If you're going to make a "creative" away message, at least leave us with something witty. Like, "When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?"- G. Carlin. This is fine! Feel free to entertain me. George Carlin, Jerry Senfeld, George Bush or any other comedian is acceptable.

Feel free to inspire me: "A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week." - Patton This is great! Perfect information...it might even get me up off my ass and doing something besides reading your away message!

4. Supporting an athletic event while it is happening: This also works for events that are about to begin or have just ended. It is possible that we, the viewing public, care who you're rooting for. Seriously. It may determine whether we want to be your friend or bash you behind your back. Also, if we catch people who have had no previous interest in our teams now rooting for them or supporting the opposition we will be able to compile a list, and hunt you people down. It just streamlines our eventual dislike for you. This is helpful, and I thank you in advance.

But we may like you more for it too! Yes, it's true! If you have something insightful to say about our team that we had previously missed, and you are now bringing it to our attention, we will be happy! It will also show that you are not, in fact, a fake fan. You will have brought legitimacy to yourself and saved yourself the scorn that we would eventually have brought down upon your head. So rejoice! But know, real fans can smell disingenuous fandom many miles away.

5. Anything describing you and your cell phone: "Cell's hot", "hit me with a text", "hit the cell" "cell's good." If you use any of these phrases, or any similar phrase, to describe your relationship with your cell phone, please stop. Your cell is hot? Does this mean that it is in constant use? If you were so busy talking on your phone all of the time, why would you advertise your desire for us to call you? Your "celly" isn't chilly? If we want to call you, we will. None of us need further motivation from your away message to get us to.

So, in conclusion, please follow these easy steps in your away message. And you if you can't just simply state you're away, you can tell us when you'll be back. But don't tell me the the current condition of your cell phone or where you'll be ALL day. Just simply entertain and inform. Thanks.

Ten

2009-03-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

For me, Ten is not the best Pearl Jam album, but it's certainly the most important.

If Pearl Jam had somehow written VS. (my favorite) in 1991, they would not have become the biggest band in the world. On its own, VS. is more far-reaching and ambitious. It also certified Pearl Jam as the biggest, most popular band on planet earth circa 1993. It would not, however, have resonated on the same level as Ten did in 1991. Ten included songs like "Black," "Once," "Jeremy" and "Alive," blistering guitar driven anthems that you sing until it hurts on a long road trip. Spirit-lifting tunes that make it fun to be alive. There's the difference, and that's what made Pearl Jam noticeable.

When the music-consumer finally grew tired of the "Girl, Girls, Girls" stripper mentality of Motley Crue, or the "Jump" superficiality of Van Halen, they found raw passion from people with problems not that different from themselves in Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam feels like rock and roll. When Eddie Vedder sings "Black" he feels more like the melodramatic kid at your high school than he does a vain rock star. Even when Kurt Cobain was the new Elvis, he never felt like your buddy. You would not drink beers with Kurt Cobain. Eddie Vedder validates the rock-star dream for non-heroin abusing beer drinkers who enjoy the NBA. We're a large demographic, and he's our spokesperson.

When I was in third grade (dating myself, here), Pearl Jam released Vitalogy. This was an event in my elementary school. I have more memories regarding the discussion of Vitalogy than anything else that was going on in 1994. In fact, I can't name a single other thing that I cared about in 1994. Vitalogy was the first music purchase I ever made. (Disclaimer: I didn't actually have any money of my own in 1994) I bought it in on tape. Yes, a cassette. I listened to it the entire ride home from the Emerald Square mall, and I wasn't sure what I thought of Pearl Jam; I knew I was supposed to like them, but that's pretty much where it ended for me. You would think that maybe I was just a brain-washed nine year old, but that wasn't it. I went to school a few days later and told everyone how much I loved Vitalogy. They told me they weren't into it. Someone's older brother apparently didn't like it. (He later turned out to be something less than a MENSA candidate, but I digress) They said it didn't live up to Ten. I still think they're wrong, and they might now too, but hey, Pearl Jam was being talked about by 3rd graders in 1994. They were being dissected and analyzed by kids who weren't exactly sure where babies came from. We were people who couldn't name a single Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen or Buddy Holly song. In fact, we were pretty sure we hated those guys. Our parents like them, right? We had no frame of reference, but we (or I) loved them unconditionally regardless.

That same Christmas I received my first CD player and some new CDs. One of them was Aerosmith's Toys in the Attic. One would think that since this was the first CD I ever owned that I eventually became irrationally obsessed with Aerosmith. Good album, but I didn't.

That's the point. For anyone growing up in the early-1990s, ages 5 - 25, there was probably a time when you unreasonably and irrationally had a fight with a friend over Nirvana or Pearl Jam. Who was better? Why? Kurt Cobain's a dick. Eddie Vedder is a pop-star. It's all about context. I love Toys in the Attic, but it largely lives in a place in my memory where I sat in front of my CD player relistening to it by myself. No one else my age gave a shit about Toys in the Attic. Most of them still don't. Everyone gave a shit about what Pearl Jam was doing, except our parents, and that was okay. Actually, it was better that way.

I don't think Pearl Jam is the most talented or best band alive. That would be Radiohead. But if they both released a CD on the same day, and I could only have one, you better believe I'm going with my meoldramatic beer-buddy from high school. I once told someone I thought "Black" was the most emotional song I had ever heard. I now recognize that comment as being largely ridiculous, but my learning and discovery usually started, but thankfully didn't stop, in the Pearl Jam universe. That only happens because of Ten.

Ten sold 12 million copies and made a largely ignorant non-music fan eventually fall in love with "Hey Foxymophandlemama, That's Me."

Taxes

2009-03-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

Today I picked my family up at Logan Airport. To take the Mass Pike home you have to pay a $3.50 toll. That's two cups of coffee or almost two gallons of gas. I could have driven about 30 miles on $3.50. A taxi has a toll of over $5.00 to leave the airport.

How is the state of Massachusetts complaining about a lack of funds? How many vehicles leave the airport everyday? Thousands? Where is all of this revenue going? Maybe if the state didn't hire the mafia to oversee the Big Dig we wouldn't still be paying for it.

Running Diary -- Day One -- March Madness

2009-03-19T09:54:00.001-07:00

12:55 - I'm watching Butler play LSU when Memphis is only up by four in their round one game. Make that three. Why am I watching this game? I hate CBS.

12:59 - Is it weird that I root for Texas teams when I only know one person from Texas? I'm starting to think it is. Still rooting for Texas Tech though.

1:25 - CBS is reporting that Jim Calhoun has been hospitalized and will not coach UConn in today's game. I've always had a love/hate relationship with Jim Calhoun. Thought he handled himself poorly last month when questioned by that reporter about his salary. However, he's from B-Tree and coached at NU. He's a hell of a coach, and I loved it when UConn upset Duke back when Rip Hamilton was still down in Storrs. Plus, you have to stick with your local guys. Now, if BC could only get Bruce Pearl to come home. More on that later.

1:59 - A no. 15 seed (Northridge) is beating a no. 2 seed (Memphis) and CBS doesn't seem to think I would rather watch this than Butler and LSU? Am I crazy? I have Memphis in the finals. CHANGE THE GAME! At least Billy Packer is out of my life. So I've got that going for me...

2:31 - Memphis won. 81-70. I'm not feeling too confident about them as my finals pick right now. You'd think John Calipari would do a little better considering he has the best players money can buy.

4:21 - Back from my workout and Maryland and Cal are locked in a tight one at 38 - 36, Maryland. Most underrated rule change in any sport this year would have to be the three-point line being moved back in college basketball. It's good to see this tournament hasn't turned into a long-distance shooting contest. I always thought that was the biggest flaw of the tourney. We'll see if that helps or hurts the upset ratio. Bad teams will be a lot less likely to catch fire and win a game launching prayers.

5:13 - Big win for Maryland. CAL did not look good; I'm not sure what this says about BC v. USC tomorrow night, but it can't be bad. I was not impressed by Maryland during the regular season and they handled CAL nicely. Much more confident for the BC game tomorrow.

8:10 - Gotta love the dinner time break. Let's me catch up on some Daily Show episodes. I also love how the only upset of the day looks like it might be Villanova. It's always good times when the only upset of the day includes a team I picked for the elite eight.

9:00 - The evening games haven't been gentle to my bracket. Villanova is down three, Minny is getting killed and Clemson is down ten. Not looking good for Team Regan. On the bright side, at least we've had some more exciting action tonight. The afternoon was hardly "madness". I just don't understand how a team from Philadelphia (Villanova) is playing in Philadelphia and might be the one team to get upset all day. Now that's madness.

10:06 - Villanova pulled it out, thank goodness. My bracket isn't busted yet. I'm sure that will come tomorrow, though. Too bad Clemson couldn't get a decent shot off. The late games are much better than the afternoon games, though. Can someone tell CBS to relax with the Buffalo Wild Wings commercial? Thanks.

10:34 - There really isn't anything like March Madness. It's the preeminent American sporting event. It lasts 3 weeks, includes 64 teams from all over the country and pits the smallest colleges and universities up against schools with 20 or 30,000 kids. Where else can you find drama like that? The one problem I've decided that I have is brackets... I find myself far too concerned with who I picked and how far I have them going than rooting for a school like Binghamton. I should be rooting for Binghamton and American. I'm not. That's un-American. No bracket for me next year.

10:53 - I'm out. Not a bad college hoops day. Tomorrow should be just as good and we have the BC v. USC matchup...got a lot riding on that one...not that I gamble...that's illegal. Springsteen is on The Daily Show tonight. A man has to have priorities.

No Line on the Horizon

2009-03-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

I like when Bono gets funky.

I don't like when Bono gets too funky though. All through No Line on the Horizon, Bono seems torn between whether he wants to be singing in a choir or dancing in a club. This is a beautiful balance, when done simultaneously. The funky choir is a hit. The choir without the funk or the funk without the choir doesn't hold up.

Everyone is calling No Line the best U2 album since Achtung Baby (Clearly, U2's best work -- Achtung makes Joshua Tree look like its retarded little brother). However, people are really only saying this because it sounds more like Achtung Baby than anything U2 has done since.

This comment also bothers me because it completely discounts All That You Can't Leave Behind, which was U2's stake through the heart of every band pretending to be the biggest band in the world. It re solidified old-time rock and roll. If you think back to 2000 when it came out - hip-hop was the reigning music and pop-culture king. Rock and roll was, for all intents and purposes, dead. Since that album came out you've seen rock and roll mount a comeback. The White Stripes, The Killers, The Strokes, Arcade Fire...all of these bands came post-All You Can't. Even Bruce Springsteen came surging back with The Rising, the defining post-9/11 ( I will not entertain arguments on this) album. U2 bitch-slapped hip-hop when no one else had the gravitas to do it.

Now, I'm not saying that U2 is singularly responsible for this resurgence, but I do think they made record execs, who were in love with the hip-hop, pop-idol bullshit, pay attention. After the overwhelming success of that album, the powers that be could sit back in their chair for a minute and reconsider rock and roll.

All That You Can't is also much stronger across the board. It has no low-points. No Line on the Horizon starts incredibly strong, the first three songs rival and probably outshine anything on All You Can't, but the middle just feels weird and bland.

The first quarter of No Line is the best work U2 has put together since Achtung. That's the comparison. It also sounds like it could be on Achtung. Bono starts the album not sure if he should be preaching in a choir or waving light-sticks in a club. The answer is he should do both. Which he does, for the first 3-5 tracks. Once "Get on Your Boots" hits...he's chosen funk over preaching and then goes back and forth from one to the other with little or no balance or reasoning. He shouldn't have to choose, but he does. And it hurts the album.

Stay funky Bono, but not too funky.

3 1/2 out of 5.